Redhead vs blonde. This was the Scottish Universities karate competition. I didn't expect it to be that stressful but when it was my turn to fight I felt my heart pumping and swelling in my throat. I smelled my armpits and my sweat didn't smell the way it does normally - it exuded a very intense pungent odour, the smell of fear, the smell of something very animal. Animals can supposedly smell our fear and as I was sniffing my stinky armpits I realized why - when we are afraid we let them know.
When the fight started something very strange happened to me: I was totally unaware of what was happening around me, of what judges were saying, of all the people watching; only the sound of my name shouted by my friends could pierce that wall, they were calling me back to reality, they were calling me to wake me up. It was the strangest sensation to be lost to your body, to be lost to your animal side in this way. I only realized that afterwards, I realized how much the focus of my attention had narrowed. I remember reading about tunnel vision: people describe the sensation of their visual field narrowing in the throes of intense physical fight. For this moment they lose control of reality, they only see the person they're fighting with.
It happened to me and I lost because if you lose your calm and you're fighting against someone who didn't (and who knows what he or she is doing), you will lose. It was fascinating for me to realize that and to see that I could be taken over by emotions in such a overpowering way.
more photos from the competition
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